YEARNING FOR LOVE

In Barton’s memoir, a woman details her journey to self-actualization as a divorcee.

When the author retired, she didn’t expect divorce on the horizon—but after 20 years of a difficult marriage, she realized her resentment was unsustainable. Rather than spend the rest of her life in a situation that made her unhappy, Barton decided to divorce, despite her fear of being alone. The author and her husband, John, married when the former was 42 and the latter was in his 50s. They soon had a daughter, Jenna, who was not John’s first child (the others are not discussed in this memoir). Barton began her journey to Nirvana from a Methodist upbringing; her father was deeply religious, so much so that she at one point refers to him as “the pastor.” While dealing with her divorce, Barton delved into Buddhism, which she now practices. This account is loosely chronological, covering the time from the author’s decision to divorce to the present, with regular flashbacks to her childhood and marriage. These flashbacks also generally occur chronologically, although sometimes without preface, leading to somewhat abrupt shifts on occasion. This happens frequently when Barton discusses therapy sessions, which she uses as a framing device to relate her present to her past (for example, as Barton recounts her mother leaving, the narration snaps back to the present with, “The therapist looked shocked”). That this feels only slightly jarring is testament to the fact that Barton’s prose is so engaging that the reader easily goes with the flow. Although there is much sadness in this story, the author evinces a refreshingly progressive view of divorce; in ending her union, she found herself “freed from the bondage of lifeless agreements, and I could reclaim the energy and vitality of creating something that was truly my own.”

An intimate portrait of self-discovery after retirement and divorce.