ASSASSINS ARE US

A teenage assassin-in-training stumbles on dark family secrets and confronts an unforeseen menace in Van Sickle’s novel.

Hedy Hinterschott keeps a relatively low profile at the University of San Francisco High School. Eschewing parties and personal relationships isn’t her choice; it’s done for her family’s preservation—the Hinterschott ancestry includes generations of assassins going back half a millennium. Hedy’s parents have been coaching her and her half-witted twin brother, Gary, in talents befitting assassins. Hedy meets Dave Corso, a fellow USF student who intrigues her like no other. Then she learns that her uniqueness—she’s the only Hinterschott female to be born in 500 years—comes from a horrific practice of her unusual family. As if this weren’t enough for a 17-year-old prospective assassin to handle, Hedy is abducted, though the motive isn’t immediately apparent. Are the kidnappers targeting a certain person she’s close to? Or is there another secret her parents haven’t gotten around to telling her? The story, aside from snippets of violence, is lighthearted. Much of it centers on the Hinterschott household, animated by the twins’ sibling banter and their grandmother’s German lilt. Hedy, who narrates, isn’t an instantly likable hero; she berates nearly everyone, from a teacher to Gary’s affectionate dog, with her brother taking the brunt of her incessant jibes (“You are too dumb to breathe”). However, she’s never outright cruel, and she proves bright and capable in all sorts of ways; the ever-vigilant Hedy “reads” strangers, assesses their threat level, and responds to them accordingly (“He’s a short man who approaches us with assertiveness. ‘You can’t loiter here!’ Little big-man syndrome. If I’ve seen it once, I’ve seen it a thousand times. Verdict: all talk, no action”). The final act amps up suspense when a villain steps into the spotlight. This narrative could easily serve as the first installment of a series that readers would surely welcome.

A sly, unconventional household enlivens this edgy, delightful romp.