ELVIS, JESUS, AND COCA COLA

Nobody (certainly not sneering Sgt. Mort Cooperman) would connect the overdose of Tom Baker and the disappearance of his documentary film on Elvis impersonators with the vanishing of Judy Sepulveda from her blood-smeared apartment—if Tom and Uptown Judy (Jewish cowboy Kinky Friedman's way of distinguishing her from his conterminous lover Downtown Judy) hadn't both scribbled the Kinkster's name on their phone pads. Kinky (Musical Chairs, etc.) is sure that the Elvis film will link Tom and Judy in some less personally threatening way, but the trail to the film and its revelations will take him through some mighty dark valleys: another homicide, a TV talk-show theft, a late- night screening at that Village vanguard Fort Dicks, a suspicious fire at a snuff-film studio, the resurrection of a Mafia don, and tasteful run-ins with the usual Big Apple riffraff, who'd ``steal Jesus if he wasn't nailed down.'' Elvis and Jesus freaks alert: here's the mystery you've been waiting for. Not much about Coca-Cola, though.