INDESTRUCTIBLE

A debut memoir of a traumatic childhood and a spiritual adulthood.

Nerestant’s story begins in her native Philippines in 1987,when she was a young child. She writes that her alcoholic father frequently meted out “punishments” to any member of the family who set off his anger, often for reasons known only to himself. Most often the victim was her mother, the author says, but no one was exempt. She notes that she felt powerless and fell into deep despair that she couldn’t save her mother, siblings, or herself from her father’s frequent cruelty, which included an incident in which he placed a chunk of burning coal in her palm. Eventually, Nerestant writes, her mother left her five children and fled to the United States to join her sister but didn’t forewarn the kids of her departure; the author recalls that she “woke up one day, and she wasn’t there. Poof. Gone. Vanished.” Many years later, however, the mother and children were reunited in New York. After Nerestant grew up, she sought therapy and forgave her father. She also came out of the “spiritual closet,” as she puts it, revealing herself as a spiritual medium and starting a practice called Self-ish Lifestyle. The title of this book is appropriate, and a fitting subtitle would be the oft-quoted saying attributed to Friedrich Nietzsche: “That which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Nerestant’s remembrance recounts a violent upbringing and how she not only survived it, but also made a career of helping other trauma sufferers. Many readers are likely to find it an excruciating read, though, as the depictions of abuse are disturbingly vivid. She tells of how she learned to embrace her past instead of seeing it as a curse. Few readers, if any, would consider such an upbringing a gift, but over the course of the book, the author effectively relates how she sees gifts everywhere, even in the most painful experiences. Indeed, this is her gift to readers: effective guidance to creating a healthier, more fulfilling life.

A true story that may be useful to anyone seeking emotional healing.