THERE'S A PATTERN HERE & IT AIN'T GLEN PLAID

A self-help book for women who consistently find themselves in bad relationships.

Frankel (I Wore a Thong For This?!, 2004, etc.) offers another title in the relationship advice genre, declaring that the reader must love herself in order to find healthy, lasting relationships with others. She sets out to help readers identify their self-destructive relationship habits, kick them and replace them with constructive personal habits. Before finding Mr. Right, readers are encouraged to learn how to stop finding Mr. Wrong. Skeptical readers may find it hard to get into the book until Chapter 2, when Frankel shares an anecdote about one of her own unfortunate relationships. These anecdotes, sprinkled throughout the book, prove to be the most engaging sections—in particular, the account of her spontaneous trip to Kilimanjaro is laugh-out-loud funny. Frankel uses her stories to help readers recognize similarities in their own lives. The advice following these anecdotes is friendly, with a humorous and self-deprecating tone. The book moves from identifying a pattern of bad relationships to planning exit strategies and getting over bad relationships; the rest of the book focuses on boosting self-esteem and improving life. Without being a scold about it, she encourages readers to take responsibility for their own happiness. Some readers may find the metaphors and jokes to be cheesy—“There was a time, B.C. (Before Crappy)…”—but there are some great practical suggestions for scrubbing a bad ex from your life and starting fresh with healthier habits, even if readers familiar with self-help books may not find anything radically new. There are a few less practical suggestions, such as starting a “Lysistrata Group” with the women in your life for sharing in “the collective female spirit.” Later chapters could have used more anecdotes and fewer metaphors, and it would have been especially motivational to see more anecdotes showing how Frankel used her own suggestions in her own life. Still, the main truth the book is built on, that self-esteem and self-worth are crucial to relationship success and a happy life, is an important one that readers will appreciate.

A quirky, earnest guide to regaining self-esteem for the modern woman.