THE TIMOTHY FILES

Three limp, unconnected episodes featuring Timothy Cone, "the Wall Street dick"—in an unusually sloppy, thoroughly hackneyed offering from an uneven, crass mass-producer (The Eighth Commandment, The Fourth Deadly Sin, The Passion of Molly T., etc.). Sloppy, scrawny Cone—a smart-alecky but lifeless mishmash of assorted hard-boiled cliches—works for Haldering & Co., an investigation firm specializing in "corporate intelligence." In story #1. Cone looks into shady doings at Clovis & Clovis, a real-estate miniconglomerate, following up on the sleuthing of a murdered colleague. He very quickly establishes a link between the Clovis-family owners (decadent types) and the Mob: they're partners in a "dummy" company—which is making millions through grand-scale check-kiting. In story #2, Cone seeks the lowdown on the Nu-Hope Fertility Clinic, which needs financing for a major expansion. The place seems to be a bona fide success—but why have two employees died under suspicious circumstances? The answer (straight out of a B-horror flick or Robin Cook's wastebasket) is found in Nu-Hope's secret lab, along with involvement by an evil worldwide conglomerate. . .and the US government. And story #3 is no fresher: Cone investigates a trio of businesses (an investment firm and two art galleries) run by one Middle Eastern family—and uncovers unsurprising skulduggery, from cash-laundering to drug-smuggling. With the culprits obvious from the start of each episode, there's no suspense here—and only minor interest as Cone and his NYPD buddies trap the cardboard villains. So Sanders tries to liven things up—with slangy present-tense narration (dated stuff, heavy on Borscht-Belt flavoring), with lame, repetitious jokes, and with periodic couplings by Cone and his skinny boss Samantha. (Their affair is supposedly lusty, semi-loveless—"They show their naked bodies to each other, but will not present themselves flayed"—and cutesy-tough. He calls her "shithead." She calls him "ass-hole.") Grossly synthetic and thoroughly unappealing: only for Sanders' most undiscriminating fans.