TABITHA, GET UP

A would-be biographer pursues two potential paydays in Upton’s comic novel.

Tabitha Acrete is 50, divorced, and in need of some cash. She’s a biographer by trade, and though her last effort—Annie: Her Life Story, about her deceased dog—was a flop, she has two prospective subjects whom she hopes will rejuvenate her career. One is Brent Vintner, an actor “so good looking they should bottle that man and spray him on belligerent people as a form of crowd control.” The other is Piper Fields, a renowned children’s book author whose career has taken a hit since the discovery that she writes erotic novels on the side. Both Brent and Piper happen to be in Tabitha’s hometown of Midlothian for the next several months, which should give Tabitha plenty of time to pry into the recesses of their private lives. The only problem is that Tabitha’s past celebrity profiles were so poorly received that she’s basically blacklisted—a fact that she misrepresents to her publisher. As Tabitha attempts, with mixed results, to worm her way into the lives of Brent and Piper, she also grapples with the legacy of her deceased ex-husband’s ashes, the colorful patrons of her nephew Leon’s bar (called The End of the World), an unwanted intern, and the fact that she might not be a very good biographer at all. Upton’s prose is razor-sharp—as filtered through the unpredictable and slightly delusional perspective of Tabitha, it takes on a magical, frenetic quality. Here, Tabitha tries to justify why a biographer isn’t really a writer: “As a biographer I’m ferreting out truth, outlining a life until the contours are visible. It never feels like writing to me. I’m not inventing anything. I’m releasing a life, clarifying a life. I’m more like a painter or a photographer than a writer. I hardly even work in—in—words.” Though many madcap events occur, it’s Tabitha’s humorous and hypnotic voice that propels the story.

A delightfully meta novel about a woman writing her way out of calamity.