PATSY SAYS

Tryon's latest is a disjointed tale of a compulsive pig named Patsy, who volunteers her time to a first-grade class. Pleasant Valley Elementary School is having an open house for parents at the end of the week and Patsy is determined that "they must learn some manners and I'm just the one to teach them." Each day she gives the students a lesson: on greeting guests, introducing yourself and others, being a good host, and making pleasant conversation. Each day the students make a hash out of her instruction: "Tell me about yourself. Have you always been this ugly?" they tease, or "You can throw your coat in the corner and give ME the present." They are, indeed, an incorrigible lot, so it comes as quite a surprise when they all act like graduates of the Miss Manners Academy at Open House Night. More than just a surprise, it's preposterous: They hadn't paid Patsy one ounce of attention, so why suddenly are they angelic? There's not even a funny punch line to explain why everything was turned on its head. Tryon's usually charming artwork fits the story snugly, expanding the scene at Pleasant Valley to include a new protagonist. Now if only the story made a lick of sense. (Picture book. 4-7)