A trauma survivor’s deeply personal guide to awakening inner wisdom.
Pappas combines personal anecdotes, research, and practical exercises to help women overcome adversity, cultivate self-awareness, and lead authentic, empowered lives.
The journey begins with taking responsibility for one’s present circumstances, regardless of any past hardships. The author differentiates between being a victim (a temporary state out of one’s control) and having a victim mentality (using painful experiences for pity or as an excuse). Readers learn about the importance and types of boundaries (physical, emotional, and intellectual) as well as dysfunctional relationship dynamics like codependence, enmeshment, and avoidance. Per Pappas, being the “curious entrepreneur of your own life” involves saying yes, embracing creativity, observing, and collaborating. Two questions (“What if?” and “Why not me?”) allow one to challenge the status quo and consider new possibilities, while another question (“What’s in it for me?”) can help one understand another’s motivation. The author demonstrates the importance of cross-cultural learning, empathy, and getting out of one’s comfort zone with examples from her time in Ethiopia’s South Omo Valley working with Indigenous communities. Other practices that the author recommends for improving the quality of life include embracing authenticity, choosing joy, and investing in healthy social relationships (romantic or otherwise). Pappas concludes with a wise-woman mantra that calls upon open-mindedness, connection, compassion, and curiosity to foster personal growth and collective well-being. The author’s DREAM (Desire, Reflect, Explore, Acknowledge, and Mantra) model (referenced at the end of each chapter) provides a unique structured framework for transformation that readers can use to apply the lessons to their lives. While Pappas is brave and vulnerable in sharing difficult details from her past, the retelling of events outweighs the actionable advice. Some of the book’s tips, like embracing fear, getting comfortable with failure, and practicing mindfulness and meditation are well-trod material in the self-help space. Other advice, like repeating “peace, love, harmony” three times when an unwanted thought pops up, may be too simplistic for those struggling with complex problems.
A trauma survivor’s deeply personal guide to awakening inner wisdom.Pub Date: Feb. 6, 2025
ISBN: 9798888246221
Page Count: 260
Publisher: Koehler Books
Review Posted Online: Nov. 26, 2024
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
Some of Avant’s mantras are overstated, but her book is magnanimous, inspiring, and relentlessly optimistic.
Memories and life lessons inspired by the author’s mother, who was murdered in 2021.
“Neither my mother nor I knew that her last text to me would be the words ‘Think you’ll be happy,’ ” Avant writes, "but it is fitting that she left me with a mantra for resiliency.” The author, a filmmaker and former U.S. Ambassador to the Bahamas, begins her first book on the night she learned her mother, Jacqueline Avant, had been fatally shot during a home invasion. “One of my first thoughts,” she writes, “was, ‘Oh God, please don’t let me hate this man. Give me the strength not to hate him.’ ” Daughter of Clarence Avant, known as the “Black Godfather” due to his work as a pioneering music executive, the author describes growing up “in a house that had a revolving door of famous people,” from Ella Fitzgerald to Muhammad Ali. “I don’t take for granted anything I have achieved in my life as a Black American woman,” writes Avant. “And I recognize my unique upbringing…..I was taught to honor our past and pay forward our fruits.” The book, which is occasionally repetitive, includes tributes to her mother from figures like Oprah Winfrey and Bill Clinton, but the narrative core is the author’s direct, faith-based, unwaveringly positive messages to readers—e.g., “I don’t want to carry the sadness and anger I have toward the man who did this to my mother…so I’m worshiping God amid the worst storm imaginable”; "Success and feeling good are contagious. I’m all about positive contagious vibrations!” Avant frequently quotes Bible verses, and the bulk of the text reflects the spirit of her daily prayer “that everything is in divine order.” Imploring readers to practice proactive behavior, she writes, “We have to always find the blessing, to be the blessing.”
Some of Avant’s mantras are overstated, but her book is magnanimous, inspiring, and relentlessly optimistic.Pub Date: Oct. 17, 2023
ISBN: 9780063304413
Page Count: 288
Publisher: HarperOne
Review Posted Online: Aug. 17, 2023
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 15, 2023
A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.
The late actor offers a gentle guide for living with more purpose, love, and joy.
Mixing poetry, prescriptive challenges, and elements of memoir, Heche (1969-2022) delivers a narrative that is more encouraging workbook than life story. The author wants to share what she has discovered over the course of a life filled with abuse, advocacy, and uncanny turning points. Her greatest discovery? Love. “Open yourself up to love and transform kindness from a feeling you extend to those around you to actions that you perform for them,” she writes. “Only by caring can we open ourselves up to the universe, and only by opening up to the universe can we fully experience all the wonders that it holds, the greatest of which is love.” Throughout the occasionally overwrought text, Heche is heavy on the concept of care. She wants us to experience joy as she does, and she provides a road map for how to get there. Instead of slinking away from Hollywood and the ridicule that she endured there, Heche found the good and hung on, with Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford starring as particularly shining knights in her story. Some readers may dismiss this material as vapid Hollywood stuff, but Heche’s perspective is an empathetic blend of Buddhism (minimize suffering), dialectical behavioral therapy (tolerating distress), Christianity (do unto others), and pre-Socratic philosophy (sufficient reason). “You’re not out to change the whole world, but to increase the levels of love and kindness in the world, drop by drop,” she writes. “Over time, these actions wear away the coldness, hate, and indifference around us as surely as water slowly wearing away stone.” Readers grieving her loss will take solace knowing that she lived her love-filled life on her own terms. Heche’s business and podcast partner, Heather Duffy, writes the epilogue, closing the book on a life well lived.
A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.Pub Date: Jan. 24, 2023
ISBN: 9781627783316
Page Count: 176
Publisher: Viva Editions
Review Posted Online: Feb. 6, 2023
Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2023
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