THE MAGIC OF YES

Pappas combines personal anecdotes, research, and practical exercises to help women overcome adversity, cultivate self-awareness, and lead authentic, empowered lives.

The journey begins with taking responsibility for one’s present circumstances, regardless of any past hardships. The author differentiates between being a victim (a temporary state out of one’s control) and having a victim mentality (using painful experiences for pity or as an excuse). Readers learn about the importance and types of boundaries (physical, emotional, and intellectual) as well as dysfunctional relationship dynamics like codependence, enmeshment, and avoidance. Per Pappas, being the “curious entrepreneur of your own life” involves saying yes, embracing creativity, observing, and collaborating. Two questions (“What if?” and “Why not me?”) allow one to challenge the status quo and consider new possibilities, while another question (“What’s in it for me?”) can help one understand another’s motivation. The author demonstrates the importance of cross-cultural learning, empathy, and getting out of one’s comfort zone with examples from her time in Ethiopia’s South Omo Valley working with Indigenous communities. Other practices that the author recommends for improving the quality of life include embracing authenticity, choosing joy, and investing in healthy social relationships (romantic or otherwise). Pappas concludes with a wise-woman mantra that calls upon open-mindedness, connection, compassion, and curiosity to foster personal growth and collective well-being. The author’s DREAM (Desire, Reflect, Explore, Acknowledge, and Mantra) model (referenced at the end of each chapter) provides a unique structured framework for transformation that readers can use to apply the lessons to their lives. While Pappas is brave and vulnerable in sharing difficult details from her past, the retelling of events outweighs the actionable advice. Some of the book’s tips, like embracing fear, getting comfortable with failure, and practicing mindfulness and meditation are well-trod material in the self-help space. Other advice, like repeating “peace, love, harmony” three times when an unwanted thought pops up, may be too simplistic for those struggling with complex problems.

A trauma survivor’s deeply personal guide to awakening inner wisdom.