THE MALE GAZED

A queer journalist ponders how pop culture has informed his views of masculinity.

In this absorbing fusion of memoir and cultural analysis, media critic Betancourt examines his boyhood in Colombia. He was obsessed with Disney films like Sleeping Beauty and Hercules, identifying with the female roles while staring desirously at the “bulging pecs and towering torsos” of the male heroes. These movies, he writes, offered “glimmers of possibility about what kind of man I wanted. And what kind of man I wanted to be.” Since Betancourt’s mother ran an animation studio in Bogotá, his access to animated media became an integral part of his youth, informing how he thought about himself then and now as a 30-something gay man. The ways men were portrayed in film and TV were integral to his teenage years, when Betancourt “daydreamed about the way men’s bodies on screens made me feel.” The feelings continued in college as he relished books by John Rechy and James Baldwin. Enrolled in a private school known for its bilingual educational program, Betancourt learned about American high school customs by watching childhood favorites like Saved by the Bell. As a teenager of divorced parents, he became enthralled with telenovelas and the “decidedly modern provocation” of Hombres. The author recognized early on that homosexuality and masculinity were intertwined and greatly scrutinized, as the “visibility of one came at the expense of the other.” Writing throughout with an affable, conversational tone, Betancourt explores the power of the cape, as evidenced in a fond profile of flamboyant Puerto Rican astrologer Walter Mercado, and discusses the smoldering allure of Ricky Martin. Male physical fetishization in visual media further pushed the boundaries of his sexual identity, and the author candidly reveals a coming-of-age period in which he finally embraced the power of his own voice.

A witty, educated, and entertaining analysis of the development of a writer’s queer desire.