A straightforward, helpful guide for families struggling with a child’s ability to make their own way.
A clinical psychologist analyzes the widespread problem of people “struggling with adolescent to adult transitions.”
The trajectory of most American teens is to finish high school, attend college or get a steady job, and launch into the world, standing on their own. However, as McConville (Adolescence: Psychotherapy and the Emergent Self, 1995, etc.)—who has a private practice and is a senior faculty member at the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland—shows in this apt analysis, many young adults don’t follow this path and wind up back home with their parents, unable to hold a job, maintain a steady relationship, or thrive in a higher education program. The author points out that teens are more anxious and “worry more and risk less” now than in any previous generation, and he rightly suggests that parents must avoid the temptation to micromanage every decision in their child’s life. McConville uses numerous case studies to back up his primary argument that there are three key reasons why this “failure to launch” trend is happening: Young adults don’t know how to assume responsibility for themselves and their actions; they lack supportive relationships; and they can’t locate a sense of hope and purpose regarding their future. Once McConville breaks down these three elements, he provides readers with practical scenarios that demonstrate how others have worked through these situations to become more well-rounded and -adjusted young adults. The author believes parents need to look at their own parenting behaviors and begin treating their children as the adults they want to be by allowing them to have their own ideas, values, and priorities that are separate from the parents. McConville concludes with a section addressed to the “struggling transitioner,” which focuses on one main message: “If you want your parents to stay out of your business, you have to learn to manage your business in a way that doesn’t require them to get involved.”
A straightforward, helpful guide for families struggling with a child’s ability to make their own way.Pub Date: Jan. 7, 2020
ISBN: 978-0-525-54218-6
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Putnam
Review Posted Online: Oct. 18, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Nov. 15, 2019
Readers unfamiliar with the anecdotal material Greene presents may find interesting avenues to pursue, but they should...
Greene (The 33 Strategies of War, 2007, etc.) believes that genius can be learned if we pay attention and reject social conformity.
The author suggests that our emergence as a species with stereoscopic, frontal vision and sophisticated hand-eye coordination gave us an advantage over earlier humans and primates because it allowed us to contemplate a situation and ponder alternatives for action. This, along with the advantages conferred by mirror neurons, which allow us to intuit what others may be thinking, contributed to our ability to learn, pass on inventions to future generations and improve our problem-solving ability. Throughout most of human history, we were hunter-gatherers, and our brains are engineered accordingly. The author has a jaundiced view of our modern technological society, which, he writes, encourages quick, rash judgments. We fail to spend the time needed to develop thorough mastery of a subject. Greene writes that every human is “born unique,” with specific potential that we can develop if we listen to our inner voice. He offers many interesting but tendentious examples to illustrate his theory, including Einstein, Darwin, Mozart and Temple Grandin. In the case of Darwin, Greene ignores the formative intellectual influences that shaped his thought, including the discovery of geological evolution with which he was familiar before his famous voyage. The author uses Grandin's struggle to overcome autistic social handicaps as a model for the necessity for everyone to create a deceptive social mask.
Readers unfamiliar with the anecdotal material Greene presents may find interesting avenues to pursue, but they should beware of the author's quirky, sometimes misleading brush-stroke characterizations.Pub Date: Nov. 13, 2012
ISBN: 978-0-670-02496-4
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Viking
Review Posted Online: Sept. 12, 2012
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 1, 2012
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.
An analysis of our emotions and the skills required to understand them.
We all have emotions, but how many of us have the vocabulary to accurately describe our experiences or to understand how our emotions affect the way we act? In this guide to help readers with their emotions, Brackett, the founding director of Yale University’s Center for Emotional Intelligence, presents a five-step method he calls R.U.L.E.R.: We need to recognize our emotions, understand what has caused them, be able to label them with precise terms and descriptions, know how to safely and effectively express them, and be able to regulate them in productive ways. The author walks readers through each step and provides an intriguing tool to use to help identify a specific emotion. Brackett introduces a four-square grid called a Mood Meter, which allows one to define where an emotion falls based on pleasantness and energy. He also uses four colors for each quadrant: yellow for high pleasantness and high energy, red for low pleasantness and high energy, green for high pleasantness and low energy, and blue for low pleasantness and low energy. The idea is to identify where an emotion lies in this grid in order to put the R.U.L.E.R. method to good use. The author’s research is wide-ranging, and his interweaving of his personal story with the data helps make the book less academic and more accessible to general readers. It’s particularly useful for parents and teachers who want to help children learn to handle difficult emotions so that they can thrive rather than be overwhelmed by them. The author’s system will also find use in the workplace. “Emotions are the most powerful force inside the workplace—as they are in every human endeavor,” writes Brackett. “They influence everything from leadership effectiveness to building and maintaining complex relationships, from innovation to customer relations.”
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.Pub Date: Sept. 3, 2019
ISBN: 978-1-250-21284-9
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Celadon Books
Review Posted Online: June 22, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2019
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