MOON IN FULL

This memoir follows a Cambodian American gay writer and activist’s quest through childhood and adolescence to find his identity.

Chann was born in 1991 into a Cambodian refugee family in Stockton, California, and in his early years, he lived with his mother, his grandmother, or his godparents in the state. Later, he moved with his mother, his sister Tanya and other siblings, his grandmother, and his mother’s abusive partner to Portland, Maine. By 2000, Chann and his sister were living in Acton, Maine, in the first of a series of foster homes; they would finally end up living in a rural part of the state with the Berrys, a family of white, middle-class evangelicals; their religious views created a feeling of dissonance as the author came to understand that he was gay. Throughout his childhood, he writes, he was frequently the only Asian American student at the Christian schools he attended; he reflected upon his identity and belief system and, after transferring from a biblical college to the University of Southern Maine, became what he considered his truest self. Throughout this remembrance, he offers striking details, particularly about food, which effectively mirror his internal emotional landscape: “Food was another language that my grandmother spoke—and this one I could understand. She fed me. I ate. And if my plate was empty of jasmine rice, she’d pile on another plate’s worth, as if to declare the abundance of her love.” This sometimes-heartbreaking narrative illustrates multiple levels of identity development, showing how children often reject parts of who they are to blend with a dominant culture. However, he also lucidly shows how he found his authentic identity as a gay man in college, and later integrated his Cambodian sense of self after meetings with his mother, biological father, grandmother, and extended family members. Some readers may wish that Chann had included more about his later adult life. However, as is, this is a beautiful story that will resonate with a wide audience.

 An earnest and well-written account of a search for self.