THE POLYESTER GRANDPA

A leaden comedy about a stereotypical family of snobs and a new member-by-marriage, a just as stereotypical self-made man—material ripe for and right out of TV sitcoms. Molly Knight’s elegant grandmother has only been widowed a year, so it’s a surprise when she remarries and brings her new husband to visit—in fact, Molly’s mother faints. Jimmy Barkenfalt, formerly a tailor, now owner of a chain of discount clothing stores, is amiable, but the Knights are shocked by his impact on Grandma, who is newly given to giggling and public displays of affection. To get rid of Jimmy, Molly stuffs his pillow with her cat Regina’s fur, to which he’s allergic. The Barkenfalts realize they’re not wanted; as they exit, Regina bolts up a tree. Jimmy bravely climbs the tree, getting scratched by the cat and almost having a heart attack. Despite that, Molly still dislikes Jimmy for breaking, in the process of the rescue, her cat’s tail (and dashing her hopes of exhibiting the cat). Freeman uses Jimmy’s speech to demonstrate his “lowly” origins ““Ya like to ‘a’ killed me, Little Missy, and I oughta throw y—outta here on your butt for it”” and then gives Molly a penchant for frequent use of oddly outdated slang, e.g., “holy moly,” “yuk-o,” “kerflooey,” and variations of “thousands of zillions.” (Fiction. 8-12)