ALMOST EVERYBODY FARTS

What’s that smell? Oh how rude! But everybody does it.

“Grandmas fart. / Teachers fart. / Terrifying creatures fart. // Farting dancer. / Farting singer. / Farts when Dad says, ‘Pull my finger.’ ” Seems that everyone passes gas, but when it comes to Mom, she adamantly denies that she ever farts. Brothers and sisters, canaries and goldfish, dragons (those are fiery—watch out!) and horn players all toot. Even unicorns fart, and those come out rainbows! But mothers (at least according to Mom) do not fart. Mimes and clowns and chickens and bunnies are all guilty. “Breaking wind. / Cut the cheese. / Ninja farts are SBDs.” The rhythmic text rolls inexorably onward. “Farts that whisper. / Farts that roar. / Someone’s farting behind that door!” (You know who it is; caught you, Mom!) Goofily irreverent author and illustrator Kelley delivers the ultimate blast of gassy, honest humor with his whimsical, cheeky rhyme about the oft-denied panty whisper. The subject in itself will elicit giggles, and the ingenious, catchy, and simple rhyme will compound those. But it is the color illustrations, alternating between half-page and full-page, loaded with lifted legs, floating skirt-backs, bubbles in the water, and a diverse array of faces squinched up in effort (to deal) or disgust (in having been dealt on), that are utterly priceless.

A playful, punchy paean to the pervasive poot.