NO TIME TO PANIC

The chief national correspondent for ABC News reveals how he learned to tame a decades-old panic disorder.

As a TV news reporter, Gutman has built a reputation not only as a thrill-seeker who has “swum with anacondas in the Amazon and tiger sharks in the Bahamas,” but also for displaying “jovial fearlessness” in the face of every conceivable disaster. Yet his trademark imperturbability belied a struggle with a panic disorder that stemmed from a fear of presenting on live TV. Gutman dismissed his problem as “just nerves” until a diagnosis of panic disorder made him try all conventional “cures” available, including antidepressants, ADHD and anti-seizure medication, mindfulness, and meditation. When nothing—including indulgence in superstitions—worked, he transformed himself into a “human laboratory experiment.” He tried less orthodox approaches like hypnosis and breathwork, both of which propelled him onto a “road less traveled” to healing. His openness to more unconventional treatment methods increased, and he began visits in earnest to healer-guides in the U.S. and South America. One, a clinical nurse in San Francisco, plied Gutman with psychedelic mushrooms that helped him access suppressed memories and feelings. Another, whom he met at an ayahuasca retreat in Peru, poisoned his system with tiny amounts of toad venom to induce bodily purgation. Two doctors in Ojai, California, gave Gutman doses of ketamine that helped him understand as never before the need to “release control” and move toward “self-forgiveness and tenderness.” The author’s condition ultimately improved—not because one psychedelic had helped more than the other, but because all his experiences led to the “emotional surrender” that brought him the better inner balance he had been seeking. Both warm and candid, this book is sure to offer helpful doses of hope, humor, and wisdom to anyone suffering from panic disorder.

Insightful reading.