A DUTIFUL BOY

A prominent British barrister's account of growing up gay in an immigrant Pakistani family in which their Shia Muslim religion “was an all-encompassing world.”

Though he was “an English-born child,” Zaidi realized early on he “did not live in the England I saw on TV.” His corner of London was “overrun with fried chicken takeaways, halal butchers and Asian clothes shops.” His mother pushed him to excel academically and win scholarships to the private schools that would ensure success in the family’s adopted country. Zaidi threw himself into his studies, less to please his parents and more to avoid ruminating on his sexuality and the fact he was a living in a world rife with anti-Muslim sentiment. He applied to Oxford and, against his expectations, was admitted into a highly competitive jurisprudence program. Though he was overjoyed to be accepted to such a prestigious institution, Zaidi prayed to Allah to trade his place at Oxford for a “cure for my homosexuality,” which he believed would bring his parents shame. His student days at Oxford were as much a revelation intellectually as they were socially. While hoodies made his White friends look “sporty,” they made the brown-skinned author look “threatening.” At the same time, the freedom of college life helped Zaidi embrace his sexuality and loosen ties to his faith and its proscriptions. When the author tried to come out to his parents, his father attempted to “cure” him with visits from a healer who was “no real doctor but a man who peddled stories of black magic and jinn possession.” Zaidi went on to become a successful barrister and fall in love with a White Irishman who forced him to confront his own prejudices about loving across lines of color and culture. Both moving and thoughtful, this debut memoir engagingly explores the meaning of belonging and celebrates how love and acceptance can transcend race, class, and sexuality.

A fulfilling reading experience about relevant topics.