THE BOUGHS OF LOVE

A gay member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints fights for acceptance and equality in this heartfelt memoir.

Arizona-based author Kitchen—a lifelong LDS churchgoer and the past president of the group Affirmation: LGBTQ Mormons, Families & Friends—recaps his journey as a gay member of a faith that, he says, has decidedly antigay leadership and a doctrine that emphasizes traditional marriage and procreation as the cornerstones of salvation. He recalls, at the age of 17, revealing the fact that he was gay to his bishop, who told him to suppress it and marry a woman; he dutifully complied and went on to raise five children with his wife before they divorced. He recounts his long coming-out odyssey, which met with support from some churchgoing relatives and anger from others, including his son, although open communication led to reconciliations. Kitchen joined Affirmation and became an outspoken critic of LDS policies, especially the 2015 “exclusion policy” declaring gay marriage an act of apostasy and banning children of same-sex couples from receiving some sacraments. The issue was particularly urgent to him because of his impending marriage to his husband, which, he says, led to a drive by LDS officials to excommunicate him. Kitchen presents an incisive, well-informed analysis of LDS policy toward LGBTQ+ members and its contradictions, noting its shift from demonization to a stance that allows sexual minorities to remain members—as long as they remain celibate. It’s a sharp, confrontational critique, but the author remains optimistic that the Church’s teachings on love will lead to a full embrace of LGBTQ+ members. Kitchen is savvy about the struggle’s politics and ideology, but the book is also a passionate profession of faith in the Church and in gay rights, couched in stirring religious imagery. When his stake president pressed him not to marry Matthew, Kitchen writes, “The Spirit immediately descended upon me like fire,” telling him to “go forward with no fear. Your marriage is blessed in me.” The result is a sophisticated and deeply personal testament.

A compelling case for the sanctity of gay love, combining rigorous argument and emotional drama.