A FATE TOTALLY WORSE THAN DEATH

Fear and loathing stalk the halls of Cliffside High in this barbed sendup of teenage horror fiction from the versatile Fleischman (Copier Creations, 1993, etc.). Having already sent rival Charity Chase over a cliff (" 'We didn't make her trip on that stupid rock.' 'But we did write a phony suicide note. Or have you forgotten?' "), Danielle and her cohorts Brooke and Tiffany spring into action when a luscious Norwegian exchange student, Helga, derails Danielle's scheme to net the school's most eligible senior boy. Somehow, all their plots go awry; worse, all three suddenly show signs of aging: hearing loss, incontinence, hair loss, sags, bags, and wrinkling. Is Helga really Charity's vengeful ghost? Fleischman develops plot and characters along appropriately bizarre, contrived lines before awarding his trio of teen terrors their just "desserts"—literally, in this case, as they learn that their precipitate declines turn out to be the work not of Helga, but the result of downing cherry truffles spiked with an aging drug. Clueless readers will appreciate the book jacket's reassurance that this is, indeed, a take-off, because like any good satire, it's not easy to tell. (Fiction. 12+)