PERRIS, CALIFORNIA

Tessa is 27 years old and pregnant with her third child when she runs into her first love, a woman named Mel, and begins to question the life she has built.

Living in a trailer with her husband, Henry, and their children, Preston and Ruby, Tessa feels increasingly smothered by her mother-in-law, Angie, on whose land they reside. Mel's return prompts Tessa to revisit her youth; graphic flashbacks reveal her mother’s abandonment and the harrowing abuse she suffered at the hands of her stepfather and stepbrother. (Stark’s depiction of those abuses never strays into trauma porn.) The respite Mel’s love offered teenage Tessa was cruelly taken away when Mel left suddenly and Tessa was forced to draw on previously unknown strength to survive. This indirectly leads her into the lives of Henry and Angie and a future filled with love. Adult Tessa's emotional withdrawal from family life exemplifies how trauma can trigger self-sabotage, secrecy, the turning away from those who love us, and the fight-or-flight instinct. The theme of motherhood underpins the novel, specifically the synchronous fragility and resilience of mothers and the hurts done to and by mothers. Caregiving is represented as at once claustrophobic and a source of deep joy: "Honey, tired ain’t something women like you and me get to be. Looking after is what I was built for." In Tessa and Angie’s relationship, Stark captures female solidarity, a shared maternal understanding, and the sacredness of keeping each other's secrets. As Mel’s presence forces Tessa to confront the vast kaleidoscope of her own personhood, the many selves she has inhabited throughout her life, Tessa accepts that she must make peace with what might have been. This agonizingly sad novel nevertheless rejoices in small acts of loving. When Angie observes that "each other is the whole of what we’ve got," Stark offers up a balm to soothe not only Tessa's hurt, but the reader’s.

An extraordinary debut that insists that we can—and must—mend each other.