IT'S HARD FOR ME TO LIVE WITH ME

A former basketball prodigy's blunt memoir about stardom, addiction, and American culture.

Chapman, a former NBA player who played 12 years in the league and current analyst and social media figure, chronicles his story with the assistance of sports journalist Davis, author of Wooden and Getting to Us. In this consistently candid text, Chapman lays bare the triumphs and tribulations of growing up as a white high school and college basketball superstar in hoops-mad but socially regressive Kentucky; a largely injury-riddled NBA career that left him addicted to painkillers; and his mental health and gambling problems, public arrest for organized retail theft, and attempts to redeem himself. Throughout, the author is raw and clearly in thrall of profanity. If the aim of the frenetic pace is to invite readers to experience being in Chapman's ceaselessly unquiet mind, it succeeds. As Chapman rapidly darts from the truly significant (the heartache of his relationship with his Black high school and college girlfriend) to the achingly mundane (pranks and hijinks performed by him and his teammates), readers may feel figuratively out of breath or just plain frustrated, as if they were trying to guard Chapman on the court at his peak. The most compelling and focused aspect of the book is Chapman's frankness about the toll of his battle with painkillers and the hard work required on the long road to recovery. In the hands of a more capable collaborator, this book could have been uniquely substantive among athlete autobiographies, exploring in more depth the exploitative vagaries of big-time college basketball, race, complex family dynamics, and the medical and pharmaceutical malpractice that aided and abetted Chapman's addiction. While the narrative is a cautionary tale from which many can benefit, much of the book feels like a hurried shot off the rim.

A basketball star’s dizzying account of his struggles and comeback.