THIS EXQUISITE LONELINESS

An attempt to understand isolation through a blend of memoir, biography, and a history of the emotion itself.

“I believe we must reinvent loneliness in order to survive it. I have been trying to do this my whole life,” writes Deming, director of creative writing at Yale and author of Art of the Ordinary. In 2021, a Harvard study found that 36% of adults “described themselves as experiencing ‘serious loneliness’ ” In young adults 18-25, the percentage was even higher: a “staggering” 63%. Despite its purported ability to provide human connection, the internet has been increasingly shown to exacerbate feelings of loneliness. Meanwhile, the emotion remains heavily stigmatized and difficult to discuss. The feeling, however, is nothing new, and Deming traces the lives of six figures whose lives were shaped largely by their feelings of seclusion. They include psychoanalyst Melanie Klein, writer Zora Neale Hurston, photojournalist Walker Evans, philosopher and cultural critic Walter Benjamin, expressionist painter Egon Schiele, and Twilight Zone creator Rod Serling. Throughout his study of these artists, Deming interweaves descriptions of his own struggles with loneliness, as well as its previous manifestation as addiction. The question, in all cases, is what can be done with isolation: Is it useful, or even necessary, to experience loneliness in order to create memorable art? The author ably navigates the timely and poignant concern of how to manage “the dailiness of contemporary isolation,” though the mini-biographies are too brief to create a lasting momentum. Still, the examples combine to create a fuller picture of how the emotion can be used creatively. This is an uplifting book that provides a blueprint on how to manage such a common yet challenging emotion, and Deming’s personal experiences add necessary heft to the text.

The author charts a navigable course for embracing one of the most painful and universal human emotions.