Practical, perennial direction for the modern man.
Sage guidance that aims to help men finesse the nuances of the opposite sex.
In a nonfiction work intended to “help men understand women better,” 50-year-old former Playboy photographer Gomez (Socially Smart, 2013, etc.) draws from four decades of pictorial work as well as his own experience fathering four daughters. After declaring that men can often be ruled by their “trouser snake,” he follows that insight by saying that many women can be unpredictable and difficult to understand. Gomez believes it takes a great deal of patience for men to treat women fairly and respectfully. His book’s sections target a variety of issues: intimacy, trust, dating, digital distractions, the do’s and don’ts of breaking up, and the significance of doing the “little things” for your romantic partner. He begins by stressing the importance of interpersonal communication, both verbal (as in respectful dialogue) and nonverbal (including body language and personal appearance). Advice on the timeless power of proper etiquette, hygiene, sartorial appropriateness, patience, and chivalry may be common knowledge to some readers, but Gomez insists that 21st-century men must sharpen these skill sets. Less impressive, however, is a chapter on identity, which gets mired in detail, and Gomez’s penchant for stating the obvious (“If you are married or in a long-term relationship, you might suggest showering together, but don’t ask her this on the first date”) and the derivative (“Remember to laugh with her, not at her”). However, a chapter on what he calls the “curses” of women’s lives, including societal standards of beauty, the process of aging, and menstruation, may resonate with male readers. Although Gomez successfully demonstrates his talent as a savvy raconteur, he also aims to be a socially responsible one, hoping to help reduce the “blatant sexism” that he believes is prevalent in contemporary society. This informative guidebook’s wealth of information belies its farcical title and entertainingly demonstrates that “there is much more than snake skills to being a real man and a gentleman.”
Practical, perennial direction for the modern man.Pub Date: June 13, 2015
ISBN: 978-1-5123-8319-5
Page Count: 254
Publisher: CreateSpace
Review Posted Online: July 13, 2015
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
These platitudes need perspective; better to buy the books they came from.
A lightweight collection of self-help snippets from the bestselling author.
What makes a quote a quote? Does it have to be quoted by someone other than the original author? Apparently not, if we take Strayed’s collection of truisms as an example. The well-known memoirist (Wild), novelist (Torch), and radio-show host (“Dear Sugar”) pulls lines from her previous pages and delivers them one at a time in this small, gift-sized book. No excerpt exceeds one page in length, and some are only one line long. Strayed doesn’t reference the books she’s drawing from, so the quotes stand without context and are strung together without apparent attention to structure or narrative flow. Thus, we move back and forth from first-person tales from the Pacific Crest Trail to conversational tidbits to meditations on grief. Some are astoundingly simple, such as Strayed’s declaration that “Love is the feeling we have for those we care deeply about and hold in high regard.” Others call on the author’s unique observations—people who regret what they haven’t done, she writes, end up “mingy, addled, shrink-wrapped versions” of themselves—and offer a reward for wading through obvious advice like “Trust your gut.” Other quotes sound familiar—not necessarily because you’ve read Strayed’s other work, but likely due to the influence of other authors on her writing. When she writes about blooming into your own authenticity, for instance, one is immediately reminded of Anaïs Nin: "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Strayed’s true blossoming happens in her longer works; while this collection might brighten someone’s day—and is sure to sell plenty of copies during the holidays—it’s no substitute for the real thing.
These platitudes need perspective; better to buy the books they came from.Pub Date: Nov. 1, 2015
ISBN: 978-1-101-946909
Page Count: 160
Publisher: Knopf
Review Posted Online: Aug. 15, 2015
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 1, 2015
Doyle offers another lucid, inspiring chronicle of female empowerment and the rewards of self-awareness and renewal.
More life reflections from the bestselling author on themes of societal captivity and the catharsis of personal freedom.
In her third book, Doyle (Love Warrior, 2016, etc.) begins with a life-changing event. “Four years ago,” she writes, “married to the father of my three children, I fell in love with a woman.” That woman, Abby Wambach, would become her wife. Emblematically arranged into three sections—“Caged,” “Keys,” “Freedom”—the narrative offers, among other elements, vignettes about the soulful author’s girlhood, when she was bulimic and felt like a zoo animal, a “caged girl made for wide-open skies.” She followed the path that seemed right and appropriate based on her Catholic upbringing and adolescent conditioning. After a downward spiral into “drinking, drugging, and purging,” Doyle found sobriety and the authentic self she’d been suppressing. Still, there was trouble: Straining an already troubled marriage was her husband’s infidelity, which eventually led to life-altering choices and the discovery of a love she’d never experienced before. Throughout the book, Doyle remains open and candid, whether she’s admitting to rigging a high school homecoming court election or denouncing the doting perfectionism of “cream cheese parenting,” which is about “giving your children the best of everything.” The author’s fears and concerns are often mirrored by real-world issues: gender roles and bias, white privilege, racism, and religion-fueled homophobia and hypocrisy. Some stories merely skim the surface of larger issues, but Doyle revisits them in later sections and digs deeper, using friends and familial references to personify their impact on her life, both past and present. Shorter pieces, some only a page in length, manage to effectively translate an emotional gut punch, as when Doyle’s therapist called her blooming extramarital lesbian love a “dangerous distraction.” Ultimately, the narrative is an in-depth look at a courageous woman eager to share the wealth of her experiences by embracing vulnerability and reclaiming her inner strength and resiliency.
Doyle offers another lucid, inspiring chronicle of female empowerment and the rewards of self-awareness and renewal.Pub Date: March 10, 2020
ISBN: 978-1-9848-0125-8
Page Count: 352
Publisher: Dial Books
Review Posted Online: Dec. 21, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2020
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