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THE LESSONS OF CARING

INSPIRATION AND SUPPORT FOR CAREGIVERS

A very readable and supportive introduction to the job of caregiver.

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A manual explores the challenges and rewards of adult caregiving.

Marabella aims this compact guide at the increasing numbers of adults in the 21st century who have been involved in some kind of caregiving, usually for older parents or relatives. The author breaks down his material into a series of brief chapters. Each chapter is subdivided into sections like “The Lesson,” stating the main points covered; “Homework,” giving exercises to help hammer home some of that advice; and “A Mantra,” offering readers a quick phrase they can repeat to themselves when the going gets tough. Each chapter also includes a scannable bar code that will lead readers to video presentations designed to accompany the lesson. Marabella’s book doesn’t have many pages, but it nevertheless covers a great deal of ground. Several of the practical aspects of caregiving are covered, but the guide’s main strength (aside from its very eye-catching design) is its compassionate focus on the intangibles that are such an important part of empathetic caregiving. One chapter, for instance, reminds readers that respect “requires a mastery of two equally important tasks: knowing what their wishes are, and keeping them distinct from my wishes.” Although Marabella is unfailingly sympathetic to his caregiving readers, he stresses throughout the book that the most important elements of this situation are the loved ones. This is even reflected in the author’s regular reminders for his readers to look after their own needs as well, something many nonprofessional caregivers may at first find counterintuitive. The homework for the chapter on how draining caregiving can be, for instance, starts with “Select one self-caring thing that you don’t do, but know you should do.” Readers who have embraced caregiving roles will likely find Marabella’s fast-paced and optimistic description of their new world both informative and encouraging.

A very readable and supportive introduction to the job of caregiver.

Pub Date: Jan. 28, 2019

ISBN: 978-0-578-45497-9

Page Count: 60

Publisher: Self

Review Posted Online: June 18, 2020

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F*CK IT, I'LL START TOMORROW

The lessons to draw are obvious: Smoke more dope, eat less meat. Like-minded readers will dig it.

The chef, rapper, and TV host serves up a blustery memoir with lashings of self-help.

“I’ve always had a sick confidence,” writes Bronson, ne Ariyan Arslani. The confidence, he adds, comes from numerous sources: being a New Yorker, and more specifically a New Yorker from Queens; being “short and fucking husky” and still game for a standoff on the basketball court; having strength, stamina, and seemingly no fear. All these things serve him well in the rough-and-tumble youth he describes, all stickball and steroids. Yet another confidence-builder: In the big city, you’ve got to sink or swim. “No one is just accepted—you have to fucking show that you’re able to roll,” he writes. In a narrative steeped in language that would make Lenny Bruce blush, Bronson recounts his sentimental education, schooled by immigrant Italian and Albanian family members and the mean streets, building habits good and bad. The virtue of those habits will depend on your take on modern mores. Bronson writes, for example, of “getting my dick pierced” down in the West Village, then grabbing a pizza and smoking weed. “I always smoke weed freely, always have and always will,” he writes. “I’ll just light a blunt anywhere.” Though he’s gone through the classic experiences of the latter-day stoner, flunking out and getting arrested numerous times, Bronson is a hard charger who’s not afraid to face nearly any challenge—especially, given his physique and genes, the necessity of losing weight: “If you’re husky, you’re always dieting in your mind,” he writes. Though vulgar and boastful, Bronson serves up a model that has plenty of good points, including his growing interest in nature, creativity, and the desire to “leave a legacy for everybody.”

The lessons to draw are obvious: Smoke more dope, eat less meat. Like-minded readers will dig it.

Pub Date: April 20, 2021

ISBN: 978-1-4197-4478-5

Page Count: 184

Publisher: Abrams

Review Posted Online: May 5, 2021

Kirkus Reviews Issue: June 1, 2021

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CALL ME ANNE

A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.

The late actor offers a gentle guide for living with more purpose, love, and joy.

Mixing poetry, prescriptive challenges, and elements of memoir, Heche (1969-2022) delivers a narrative that is more encouraging workbook than life story. The author wants to share what she has discovered over the course of a life filled with abuse, advocacy, and uncanny turning points. Her greatest discovery? Love. “Open yourself up to love and transform kindness from a feeling you extend to those around you to actions that you perform for them,” she writes. “Only by caring can we open ourselves up to the universe, and only by opening up to the universe can we fully experience all the wonders that it holds, the greatest of which is love.” Throughout the occasionally overwrought text, Heche is heavy on the concept of care. She wants us to experience joy as she does, and she provides a road map for how to get there. Instead of slinking away from Hollywood and the ridicule that she endured there, Heche found the good and hung on, with Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford starring as particularly shining knights in her story. Some readers may dismiss this material as vapid Hollywood stuff, but Heche’s perspective is an empathetic blend of Buddhism (minimize suffering), dialectical behavioral therapy (tolerating distress), Christianity (do unto others), and pre-Socratic philosophy (sufficient reason). “You’re not out to change the whole world, but to increase the levels of love and kindness in the world, drop by drop,” she writes. “Over time, these actions wear away the coldness, hate, and indifference around us as surely as water slowly wearing away stone.” Readers grieving her loss will take solace knowing that she lived her love-filled life on her own terms. Heche’s business and podcast partner, Heather Duffy, writes the epilogue, closing the book on a life well lived.

A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.

Pub Date: Jan. 24, 2023

ISBN: 9781627783316

Page Count: 176

Publisher: Viva Editions

Review Posted Online: Feb. 6, 2023

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2023

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