STARSTRUCK

An Egyptian American astrophysicist describes a turbulent life.

Nance was educated at a religious private school, where her fascination with the stars overcame her reluctance to quarrel with the school’s minister about spiritual matters. Though her parents were loving, they fought constantly. They separated for the first time when the author was in high school, and they got divorced while she was in graduate school. With a chaotic home life, Nance took shelter in education and her yearning to become an astronomer. Readers will admire her ability to overcome the expected barriers, including sexist teachers and a lack of female mentors and classmates. Most of the text describes the miseries of her personal life; at one point during high school, both parents moved out, leaving her to live alone for much of the year. The author fell in love with a fellow college student, but he turned out to be jealous and abusive. Later, her father was diagnosed with late-stage cancer. After she discovered that she inherited his cancer gene, which would likely lead to breast cancer, she underwent a double mastectomy in her early 20s. The remainder of the book recounts her progress to a career in astrophysics, and Nance discusses inspirational teachers and exhilarating experiences contemplating the heavens, often pausing for short, stand-alone essays on astronomical basics, including planets, black holes, and the Big Bang. The author is unafraid to admit being overwhelmed by her setbacks and recounts a steady stream of crushing disappointments, anxiety, panic attacks, psychotherapy, depression, and treatment for PTSD. “It is at night,” she writes, “when my work pauses and I have no structure, that the terror takes over, when I feel invisible claws wrapping around my heart and squeezing my chest.” At the conclusion, she has found love and a satisfying career.

A scientist’s candid, unnerving memoir in which her profession takes a back seat to personal struggles.