METAL BABY

Well-meaning parents contend with a difficult child.

The quiet Mumfords are rearing a “Metal Baby.” He sports white face paint, heavy black eyeliner, and black spiky hair and shrieks nonstop. The Mumfords take their tot on car rides and hayrides. They bring him pacifiers. But Metal Baby won’t be tamed; he screams, flings teddy bears, and swings from the chandelier. The Mumfords seek out help from a nanny, but rather than curtailing Metal Baby’s naughty behavior, she just plays guitar while the infant serenades an audience of plush toys. The Mumfords are bewildered to learn that their Metal Baby is the headliner for “Metalpowerpalooza,” an upcoming festival boasting “3 DAYS OF NONSTOP METAL MAYHEM.” As a bevy of metalheads descends on the Mumfords’ front lawn, the exhausted parents embrace the chaos and find a creative solution. While all of this may make adults chuckle, the references to metal and alternative rock will probably be lost on young readers. Since the main character is a baby, it’s unlikely that children beyond kindergarten will be interested, though they’ll have a better chance at grasping the humor. Still, when the Mumfords (at least temporarily) become metalheads themselves, a lesson about affirming a child’s interests comes through. The Mumfords and Metal Baby have pale skin; the other metal fans are racially diverse.

Like heavy metal, this one won’t please every reader.