IRMA

A son’s moving tribute to his mother’s love and support.

In this follow-up memoir to The Accidental Life, McDonell (b. 1944), the former editor of Time Inc. Sports Group, depicts a young widowed mother’s determination to raise her son in his father’s image. Drawn from diaries and daybooks, the text describes the unique bond shared with his mother, Irma, a connection that intensified upon the premature death of his father, Bob. After Bob’s death, Irma restlessly relocated them, with stops in multiple states, before she bought “a new Ford convertible so we can drive to California with the top down.” The author had a fairly solitary childhood before Irma’s friend Norm arrived and they got married—even though his pessimistic, money-focused worldview clashed with Irma’s open-minded optimism. Throughout this touching book, the author reflects on how his father’s early death resonated throughout his boyhood and how he and Irma strove to overcompensate for the absence. The true hero of the memoir, of course, is Irma, a schoolteacher who instilled in McDonell the classic values of responsibility and confidence. When Norm began to demonstrate abusive tendencies, Irma remained an “unyielding” rock of stability and unconditional love. Meanwhile, McDonell developed a fierce, cocky independence, playing high school football and partying, often underappreciating the sacrifices Irma made. In the second section of the book, the author switches to a third-person perspective, describing his adult struggles with depression and his successes as a journalist and novelist as well as his experience as a father of two sons without a “philosophy of fatherhood.” In a narrative brimming with vignettes ranging from humorously innocent to painfully melancholy, McDonell chronicles how he grew increasingly appreciative of Irma and her innate ability to overcome her own grief to focus on raising the kind, resilient, morally upright man Bob would’ve fostered himself.

A rich and bittersweet portrait of a mother and son spanning miles, decades, and complex emotions.