WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU

A young writer’s unflinching account of her battle with Crohn’s disease.

Miller was a 24-year-old editor at Lifehacker when she was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease, an incurable form of inflammatory bowel disease. In this blend of harrowing memoir and self-help tips, she chronicles how she achieved remission after nightmarish years of hospitalizations complicated by nasty attacks from the “extremely contagious and hard to treat” bacteria known as C. diff, which required three fecal microbiota transplants. Before she tamed her disease with medication, she endured countless physical indignities—from having to wear adult diapers to leaving a dinner party 20 times to use the bathroom—as well as “mental Olympics,” which she powerfully describes as “the depression and anxiety that come along with a malfunctioning body; the defeat of visiting doctor after doctor only to hear ‘it’s all in your head’; the sick, sleepless nights worried about health insurance; the hope of a new treatment and the crushing loss when it doesn’t work; the longing for loved ones to understand that you’re the same you—except not; the grieving of a self that doesn’t exist anymore; the PTSD from long hospital stays and invasive procedures; the new rules of an unrecognizable body; the inescapable loneliness.” Miller intersperses vivid tales of her struggle with a hard sell for talk therapy and pages of overfamiliar advice on coping with chronic diseases: “Platitudes are annoying, but I’ve learned over the last decade that sometimes they’re true: There is light at the end of the tunnel, time does heal, and the sun will come out tomorrow—so long as you do the work.” Readers with Crohn’s and other chronic conditions may find this book so valuable they won’t mind the banalities, but more insightful writing on a similar topic appears in Everything Happens for a Reason, Kate Bowler’s inspiring book about her colon cancer diagnosis.

Frank reflections and well-worn advice on living with an incurable disease.