MY HEART IS NOT ASLEEP

A collection of poems about love enduring through illness and impending loss.

Love is patient, but is it patient enough to withstand a miserable decade of Alzheimer’s disease? In his melancholic collection, Thomas’ love for his wife comes alive in small details and shared moments—the very same moments that she, his muse, is robbed of as her mind and body degenerate. There is a loose chronology to the poems, which are organized in subtly titled sections that belie their intensity: “Heart-Stirred” represents the rosy period of love, “Onset” begins the descent into heartsickness, and “At Sea” limns the bereft acceptance of loss. The tone continually shifts throughout, from the prismatic joy of the couple’s first meeting to the grim diagnosis as the work charts the ways in which partnership becomes caregiving as the afflicted wife is eventually exiled to “the little boat / of her hospital bed.” As Thomas grows increasingly unable to connect to his wife, he becomes more involved with the natural world around him, as seen in “My Returning”: “a flower at the highest blossoming in the moment she / turns toward death. I am, I am, I am not separate…I am sitting in an oak / tree watching.” Thomas’ specificity breathes all the shades of love into these verses, from the erotic “My Wife’s Last O” (“rocks me warm and mesmerized, / presses my skull against her mound / and pelvic bone and her hips rise just / so gently”) to the mournful “The Sirens, Before Dawn” (“the tiny hairs of your forehead, / trace their way to your temple hollow, my / breath warming the scent of your skin…in that other life we had, that gone cosmos”). The reverence for granular details—temple bones, an embrace in the dark, cleaning and feeding routines—conveys the depth of Thomas’ feelings. This work is a moving reckoning with the value and cost of love.

A morose, bewitching elegy to love.