BOX OFFICE POISON

Hollywood producers are never as smart as they think they are, says critic Robey, and a lengthy list of lemons proves it.

Schadenfreude is a German word which means finding enjoyment in the misfortune of other people, and it is never more fun than when applied to Hollywood hucksters with more dollars than sense. Robey, a film critic of long experience, has a great time reminding them of their missteps, failures, and outright debacles, delving into the background of 26 clunkers. The history of flops goes back a long way, to the days of silent cinema and Intolerance. Its cast of thousands and huge sets consumed cash by the bucketload, but Hollywood never learns from its mistakes, and the process was repeated in a string of historical epics like Land of the Pharaohs. Other failures, such as the ruinously expensive Cutthroat Island, were plagued by creative conflicts between, well, everyone involved. Looking to sequels for surefire hits, Hollywood bet big on Speed 2: Cruise Control, but it sank without a trace. Babe 2: Pig in the City failed to capture its predecessor’s charm and instead became a dark nightmare. The idea of relying on popular source material yielded Catwoman, which not even a whip-wielding Halle Berry could save, and the abysmal Cats, about which the less is said the better. But there is no excuse for disasters like Alexander, The Adventures of Pluto Nash , and Gigli. Robey has a great time with all this, although he notes that streaming and global distribution are making it more difficult to assess the financial losses of a turkey. In any case, Box Office Poison is a fun read, and it asks a key question: What were they thinking?

With sardonic wit, Robey romps through a roll call of movies that Hollywood would rather forget.