I AM PERFECTLY FLAWSOME

A manifesto against the detrimental effects of perfectionism.

Collins and Molitor strike upon the theme of their collaboration early by introducing readers to the Japanese art and philosophy of kintsugi in which broken pottery is made both stronger and more beautiful through the process of repair. They counterpose this philosophy against the relentless pursuit of perfection they’ve each encountered in their personal and professional lives, hoping their book will serve as a guide for the reader to “find joy” in our imperfect selves without giving up on improving things. They refer to this flawed state as being “flawsome” and advocate the spreading of “flawsomism” in order to embrace not only our own flaws, but those of the world around us, citing the benefits of cultivating inner calm and self-worth. “When you start embracing your authentic self, just the way you are—and just the way you aren’t,” they write, “your sense of self-esteem will continue to expand and grow.” The authors frequently reflect on their own personal histories growing up in families with perfectionist expectations, where the “never good enough” messaging was painful. Consequently, several of their fast-paced and well-designed chapters have concentrations on parenting, where they focus on empowering children to become “happy, healthy, and confident adults, knowing they are enough and perfectly flawsome just as they are.” The authors’ call to “strive for excellence, not perfection” is a refreshing reminder of how corrosive self-criticism can be, and they make a strong case for “flawsomism” as a legitimate path to betterment. “Unless you embrace that imperfection in yourself—all those imagined reasons you’re not ready,” they write, “you’ll never start that business, that project, that piece of art you’ve been envisioning.” The obvious contradiction here between accepting flaws and striving to improve is weakly addressed and not always well served by many of the real-world examples they provide: like the Play-Doh company, for example, which grew to success by adapting to changing markets, not by accepting flawed product. Even so, their warnings against joyless perfectionism are worth heeding. Note: The authors recommend readers go to a website, complete a survey, download an extra book, take a quiz, qualify for a discount, and scan a QR code before reading the book.

An energetic, optimistic call to accept imperfections in ourselves and others.