THE TUNNEL

Friedler recounts his son’s painful journey through severe depression and explores the lasting effect his life had on them all.

From the opening line, the author paints a vivid portrait of a parent who feels helpless in the face of their child’s pain: “I will never ever forget the night my son, Henry, called from the Mississippi River Bridge.” After detailing Henry’s near-suicide, the narrative jumps back to his birth as the middle child in a loving but hectic home. From family vacations to Henry’s deep love of soccer, the Friedler family seemed to have it all. But everything started to come undone when Henry was kicked out of boarding school after attempting to cheat a drug test. The incident kicked off a severe depression that only worsened when he didn’t get accepted to his first-choice college. As Henry continued acting out, eventually winding up in a psych ward due to his erratic behavior, Friedler and his wife, Heidi, persevered in their attempts to get him the help he needed. But even as he entered his 20s, Henry continued to cycle between the typical growing pains of adolescence, mania, and crippling depression. With straightforward and unflinching honesty, the author traces the difficult, winding road from Henry’s birth to his untimely death. The prose remains steady and refreshingly unadorned throughout this trajectory, contributing to a pervasive feeling of mounting dread over what is to come. Friedler’s ultimate decision—to “choose” what to believe regarding Henry’s heartbreaking final act—is a testament to the limitless power of love itself: “I believe he knew he was loved. I believe he was tired of his fight. I believe he believed he was doing the right thing. I believe he believed he was doing the loving thing.” Anyone who has lost a loved one to suicide will find both comfort and inspiration in Friedler’s story.

A haunting memoir that captures the raw pain of losing a child and the hope that can eventually come after.