Boyce effectively reveals that whether orchid or dandelion, there is no such thing as “unbreakable children.”
A renowned pediatrician uncovers what makes children thrive.
It’s an age-old question: Are we the product of nature or nurture? For Boyce (Pediatrics and Psychology/Univ. of California, San Francisco), the co-director of the Child and Brain Development Program at the Canadian Institute for Advanced Research, the topic of human frailty has been more than just his field of study; it’s his calling. As he writes, his interest in the subject developed after watching his brilliant sister Mary succumb to psychotic symptoms marked by “hearing hostile, venomous voices and periods of catatonia.” How could two siblings who grew up in the same comfortable, safe environment with loving parents end up with such different life outcomes? One possibility: “a single, seemingly unerring environment is in fact not the same for each individual child.” Thus the concept of orchid and dandelion children was born. Orchids are those who, due to special susceptibility, may struggle through life, while dandelions seemingly thrive no matter their circumstances. Boyce argues that being an orchid is not all bad; given the right circumstances, orchids’ special sensitivities and strengths can result in remarkable gifts. “The very orchid children most likely to suffer and wilt when subjected to bad environments,” writes the author, “are the same children most likely to flourish, succeed, and prosper in settings of nurturance and care.” Citing exhaustive research studies conducted throughout his career, Boyce paints a compelling picture of how early childhood development and genetic makeup impact human life. Naturally, the book is full of medicalese, but for every set of data, the author backs up his work with conversational anecdotes, and his natural storytelling ability helps guide the book through the complex scientific sections. Though the book occasionally feels like a piece for a medical journal, the author’s findings are absorbing enough to keep readers engaged.
Boyce effectively reveals that whether orchid or dandelion, there is no such thing as “unbreakable children.”Pub Date: Jan. 15, 2019
ISBN: 978-1-101-94656-5
Page Count: 304
Publisher: Random House
Review Posted Online: Oct. 14, 2018
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Nov. 1, 2018
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after...
Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.
Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and women—e.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained—all without spending lots of money on couples’ therapy.
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child.Pub Date: March 21, 2017
ISBN: 978-0-316-26710-6
Page Count: 272
Publisher: Little, Brown
Review Posted Online: Jan. 17, 2017
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2017
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.
An analysis of our emotions and the skills required to understand them.
We all have emotions, but how many of us have the vocabulary to accurately describe our experiences or to understand how our emotions affect the way we act? In this guide to help readers with their emotions, Brackett, the founding director of Yale University’s Center for Emotional Intelligence, presents a five-step method he calls R.U.L.E.R.: We need to recognize our emotions, understand what has caused them, be able to label them with precise terms and descriptions, know how to safely and effectively express them, and be able to regulate them in productive ways. The author walks readers through each step and provides an intriguing tool to use to help identify a specific emotion. Brackett introduces a four-square grid called a Mood Meter, which allows one to define where an emotion falls based on pleasantness and energy. He also uses four colors for each quadrant: yellow for high pleasantness and high energy, red for low pleasantness and high energy, green for high pleasantness and low energy, and blue for low pleasantness and low energy. The idea is to identify where an emotion lies in this grid in order to put the R.U.L.E.R. method to good use. The author’s research is wide-ranging, and his interweaving of his personal story with the data helps make the book less academic and more accessible to general readers. It’s particularly useful for parents and teachers who want to help children learn to handle difficult emotions so that they can thrive rather than be overwhelmed by them. The author’s system will also find use in the workplace. “Emotions are the most powerful force inside the workplace—as they are in every human endeavor,” writes Brackett. “They influence everything from leadership effectiveness to building and maintaining complex relationships, from innovation to customer relations.”
An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions.Pub Date: Sept. 3, 2019
ISBN: 978-1-250-21284-9
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Celadon Books
Review Posted Online: June 22, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2019
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