MEET ME AT THIRD AND FAIRFAX!

In Riddle’s novel, adapted from his own screenplay, a group of free-spirited friends struggles with careers and relationship choices in Los Angeles.

Thirty-one-year-old Robert Oreo runs Nordstrom’s fragrance counter at The Grove shopping mall. Classy, charming, and invariably upbeat, Robert cruises through life without much concern: “Sometimes I kiss girls, sometimes I kiss guys, and sometimes I kiss a lot of both.” Robert is forced to confront the darker side of life when his favorite client’s grandson unexpectedly dies. Robert finds himself spending more and more time with wealthy, grieving socialite Margaret, much to the dismay of his young lover, Michael, who keeps waiting for Robert to commit to a relationship. The relationships between the characters resemble quick sketches, making it hard to see where the story is going. Halfway through the book, without warning, the narrative seems to give up on Robert as its protagonist and instead begins to follow the lives of his coworkers and friends. These chapters alternate between Byron, who finds unexpected success in the adult film industry; Greta, whose previous heartbreak makes her too suspicious to enter a new relationship; and Miranda, a transgender bookstore employee who receives a sudden career opportunity. While the ups and downs of Robert and his entourage are engaging and occasionally hilarious (in one of the scenes, Byron is offered a job as a model for a new sex toy), the characters themselves remain flat, their motivations rarely clear or consistent. Robert’s peculiar, intense relationship with Margaret has the most dramatic promise, but it fizzles out without revealing anything about Robert’s more complex emotional mechanisms or connecting back to his professional life. Readers hoping to be transported by the setting or the romance will find the prose uneven and so overrun with italics and exclamation points that the text begins to resemble the ramblings of a hyperactive child (“He took the liberty and placed [the hat] on Robert’s head, and sure enough, it was the perfect fit!”).

If this story held any promise as a screenplay, it did not translate to this novelization.