FARM FATALE

Sophisticated Londoners opt for country chic, in a third farce by Holden (Bad Heir Day, 2001, etc.).

Children’s book illustrator Rosie pines for a cozy home in the hills of rural England—but her live-in love, Mark, freelance author of puff pieces for a Sunday magazine, prefers the city. Filth is his friend, as he puts it, until the day he gets his own column: his editors want him to cover the latest moving-to-the-country trend! So he and Rosie buy a venerable cottage in the quaint village of Eight Mile Bottom—and wonder what they’ve done. Rosie is pleased with her new surroundings, but Mark is miserable. He loathes the nosy postman and the dotty couple Rosie befriends, not to mention the neo-hippies and their noisy brats next door. And he develops writer’s block. Then a dreadful pair of social climbers from London buy a Jacobean manor nearby, much to Rosie’s dismay. She’s met financier Guy Grabster and his silicone-enhanced wife Samantha once before, and it was quite enough. Samantha, an over-the-hill actress with endless aspirations, cuts her cloth accordingly. Guy hates the country even more than Mark, but his wife knows that “crotchless lace is more persuasive than any amount of cold logic” and has talked him into paying for a fabulous fête so she can swan it for the locals, peasants and gentry alike. Mark attends, hoping to wangle a screenwriting assignment for Samantha’s harebrained scheme of starring in a film bio of Charlotte Brontë. Rosie goes along and makes friends—very, very good friends—with a nice bloke who turns out to be a reclusive pop star recovering from the impact of worldwide fame and unimaginable wealth. Should shy Rosie choose him? Or is rough-hewn farmer Jack better? Or should she just stick with whiny, disagreeable Mark?

Wickedly funny comedy of manners: oddballs, hilarious one-liners, and some very bad puns.