THE FACTS OF LIFE

Meandering, pointless, contemptibly delicious bag of potato chips by the great singer/storyteller. Nelson started out writing lyrics for country stars like Patsy Cline (“Crazy”), he’s cut more than 100 albums in 50 years, and now he decides to while away the hours touring the country on his bus, Honeysuckle Rose III, by writing a memoir. The book turns out to be a grab-bag of snippets about old friends (some very old) with very, very little connective tissue, a whole mess of photos, and tons of lyrics with an autobiographical ring. He announces that when inspiration fades he’ll throw in a dirty story to liven things up, and he does—over and over again. Mercifully, the lyrics still stand up strongly no matter what decade they were written in (Willie’s not telling). His first wife Martha, he reveals, “used to say, ‘Don’t worry about a thing ’cause there ain’t nothing going to be alright.’ Hence the title of our book.”

The rest of it makes about as much sense.