Coming-of-age stories traditionally focus on the teenage years. Not so for Oliver Radclyffe, whose painstakingly assembled life as a wealthy English-born housewife in Connecticut began to unravel in his 40s. In Frighten the Horses (Roxane Gay Books/Grove, Sept. 17), Radclyffe examines the constraints that class, gender, cultural scripts, and heterosexual marriage placed on his pre-transition self—and the world as we know it. In a starred review, Kirkus called this memoir “vulnerable, perspicacious, and insightful.” Radclyffe answered our questions by email.

When did you know you wanted to write a memoir about your transition?

I wrote the first draft of the first chapter the day after [my transition] happened. Although at the time I didn’t know I was writing a memoir, I found myself writing in story form, almost as if I were writing in the third person. After a couple of years of writing this way I got hooked on writing narrative—as opposed to journaling—so I started trying to learn more about structure and technique. Now I can’t imagine not waking up and writing every day.

What books, particularly transgender literature, did you read while writing Frighten the Horses?

Leslie Feinberg’s Stone Butch Blues opened the floodgates for me, but after reading it I made the conscious decision to avoid reading any more trans books while I was drafting, because I wanted to stay very close to my own personal experience. I knew if I read other people’s descriptions of their transitions it might influence the language I used. As soon as I finished the first draft I inhaled trans literature like a drowning man coming up for air: Jack Halberstam, Kate Bornstein, Daniel Lavery, Susan Stryker, Paul Preciado, Julia Serano, Grace Lavery, Andrea Long Chu, Jules Gill-Peterson…all these writers saved my life and my sanity.

Where do you do most of your writing?

Because I’m a solo parent with four children, I’ve been largely confined to the Connecticut suburbs for the last decade and a half, so writing is how I escape. I like to start early, so my mind is completely clear. From this small corner of my office I then get to go anywhere I want: London, New York, the past, the future, you name it. It’s a very cheap way to travel, and I don’t have to worry about offsetting my carbon emissions.

Who is the ideal reader for your book?

Transition is such a mysterious and complex subject, even for those of us who’ve been through it, so I try to write for the kind of reader who has an open heart and mind but lots of unanswered questions. I want them to know that it’s OK if they’re struggling to understand what the hell gender is.

What fall releases are you most eager to get your hands on?

I’m looking forward to Alan Hollinghurst’s new novel, Our Evenings, which is about class, queerness, and race in England, subjects that are obviously very close to my heart. I’m also dying to get my hands on Women’s Hotel by Daniel Lavery, who transitioned around the same time I did. He’s one of the few authors who makes me cry laughing.

Sasha Carney is an Indie editorial assistant.