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FIGHTING FOR OUR FRIENDSHIPS

THE SCIENCE AND ART OF CONFLICT AND CONNECTION IN WOMEN'S RELATIONSHIPS

A personable and practical guide to negotiating female friendships.

A “friendship coach” explains how women can foster healthier, meaningful platonic relationships.

When Jackson was a high school teacher, she witnessed teenage girls continually making and losing friends, and she remarks on the “hurt and confusion” it engendered. “Navigating relationships with other women can feel like a land mine,” writes the author, noting that her abiding interest in these dynamics came as something of a surprise to her: “Becoming a friendship coach wasn’t exactly on my vision board.” Still, after another career as a publicist, a conversation with a client sparked something in Jackson, and she set off to “study what the latest research has to say about women’s conflict, communication, and cooperation.” In her debut book, the author unpacks what makes female friendship so “complicated” and offers a handbook of practical tips on how to approach various roadblocks. In the first part, Jackson discusses the mechanics of female friendship, noting that research shows that women’s friendships are “more fragile” but “deeper” than men’s. Women “extend less leniency, have less resilience, and perceive more violations in their friendships.” Because of this, the author cautions, it’s important to know how to address conflict—avoiding it is unrealistic. In Part 2, Jackson walks readers through different potentially problematic friend types (“The Flaky Friend,” “The Love-Obsessed Friend,” “The Clingy Friend,” and “The Friend Who Doesn’t Reciprocate”), illustrating each type with a real scenario and scripts and strategies readers can use to approach these women with “compassion and perspective,” but also respect for their own boundaries. Jackson is a warm and chatty writer, narrating anecdotes from her own friendships (and friendship foibles) that readers will enjoy. The book is a welcome addition to the self-improvement genre, covering a topic that feels relatively unexplored thus far.

A personable and practical guide to negotiating female friendships.

Pub Date: May 7, 2024

ISBN: 9780306830617

Page Count: 272

Publisher: Hachette Go

Review Posted Online: March 5, 2024

Kirkus Reviews Issue: April 1, 2024

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I'M GLAD MY MOM DIED

The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.

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The former iCarly star reflects on her difficult childhood.

In her debut memoir, titled after her 2020 one-woman show, singer and actor McCurdy (b. 1992) reveals the raw details of what she describes as years of emotional abuse at the hands of her demanding, emotionally unstable stage mom, Debra. Born in Los Angeles, the author, along with three older brothers, grew up in a home controlled by her mother. When McCurdy was 3, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Though she initially survived, the disease’s recurrence would ultimately take her life when the author was 21. McCurdy candidly reconstructs those in-between years, showing how “my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me.” Insistent on molding her only daughter into “Mommy’s little actress,” Debra shuffled her to auditions beginning at age 6. As she matured and starting booking acting gigs, McCurdy remained “desperate to impress Mom,” while Debra became increasingly obsessive about her daughter’s physical appearance. She tinted her daughter’s eyelashes, whitened her teeth, enforced a tightly monitored regimen of “calorie restriction,” and performed regular genital exams on her as a teenager. Eventually, the author grew understandably resentful and tried to distance herself from her mother. As a young celebrity, however, McCurdy became vulnerable to eating disorders, alcohol addiction, self-loathing, and unstable relationships. Throughout the book, she honestly portrays Debra’s cruel perfectionist personality and abusive behavior patterns, showing a woman who could get enraged by everything from crooked eyeliner to spilled milk. At the same time, McCurdy exhibits compassion for her deeply flawed mother. Late in the book, she shares a crushing secret her father revealed to her as an adult. While McCurdy didn’t emerge from her childhood unscathed, she’s managed to spin her harrowing experience into a sold-out stage act and achieve a form of catharsis that puts her mind, body, and acting career at peace.

The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.

Pub Date: Aug. 9, 2022

ISBN: 978-1-982185-82-4

Page Count: 320

Publisher: Simon & Schuster

Review Posted Online: May 30, 2022

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2022

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GREENLIGHTS

A conversational, pleasurable look into McConaughey’s life and thought.

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All right, all right, all right: The affable, laconic actor delivers a combination of memoir and self-help book.

“This is an approach book,” writes McConaughey, adding that it contains “philosophies that can be objectively understood, and if you choose, subjectively adopted, by either changing your reality, or changing how you see it. This is a playbook, based on adventures in my life.” Some of those philosophies come in the form of apothegms: “When you can design your own weather, blow in the breeze”; “Simplify, focus, conserve to liberate.” Others come in the form of sometimes rambling stories that never take the shortest route from point A to point B, as when he recounts a dream-spurred, challenging visit to the Malian musician Ali Farka Touré, who offered a significant lesson in how disagreement can be expressed politely and without rancor. Fans of McConaughey will enjoy his memories—which line up squarely with other accounts in Melissa Maerz’s recent oral history, Alright, Alright, Alright—of his debut in Richard Linklater’s Dazed and Confused, to which he contributed not just that signature phrase, but also a kind of too-cool-for-school hipness that dissolves a bit upon realizing that he’s an older guy on the prowl for teenage girls. McConaughey’s prep to settle into the role of Wooderson involved inhabiting the mind of a dude who digs cars, rock ’n’ roll, and “chicks,” and he ran with it, reminding readers that the film originally had only three scripted scenes for his character. The lesson: “Do one thing well, then another. Once, then once more.” It’s clear that the author is a thoughtful man, even an intellectual of sorts, though without the earnestness of Ethan Hawke or James Franco. Though some of the sentiments are greeting card–ish, this book is entertaining and full of good lessons.

A conversational, pleasurable look into McConaughey’s life and thought.

Pub Date: Oct. 20, 2020

ISBN: 978-0-593-13913-4

Page Count: 304

Publisher: Crown

Review Posted Online: Oct. 27, 2020

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Dec. 1, 2020

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