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MY UNCLE OSWALD

Roald Dahl's first full-length adult fiction is immaculately phrased, crisply turned, and terribly disappointing. What one anticipates above all with Dahl (Kiss Kiss) is an inventive notion, and the farce notion here is one that's been diddled around with in dozens of books and stories already: collecting sperm from famous men and freezing it for future sale re artificial insemination. DaM's version is the 1938 diary of Oswald Hendryks Cornelius—his memories at age 43 of his escapades some 25 years earlier. English youth Oswald makes his first fortune at 17 by journeying to the Sudan, purchasing a chunk of the world's most potent aphrodisiac (ground-up Blister Beetles), and selling it in pill form to the wealthiest men (and then women too) of Paris. But Oswald returns to England determined to strike it even richer. Enter A. R. Woresley, Oswald's chemistry tutor at Cambridge—who's doing research in sperm preservation, extracting semen from prize bulls—and, after Oswald has helped out with the sticky mechanics of bull-semen-snatching, he naturally gets the idea to transfer the technique to humans. Needed (once reluctant Woresley agrees to cooperate): a resourceful female confederate. They find such a woman in Yasmin Howcomely ("She was absolutely soaked in sex"), and soon the trio has its game plan: Yasmin will slip each famous man the super-aphrodisiac, greet the expected response with a condom, and collect an authenticating signature before hurrying off with the "stuff. . . in the bag," ready for Woresley's freeze-dry process. Among Yasmin's conquests: dear old Renoir; randy young Picasso (too fast a mover, alas, to pause for prophylaxis); homosexual Proust (Yasmin dresses as a boy and simulates buggery—"I could have shoved it in a jar of pickled onions and he wouldn't have known the difference"); D. H. Lawrence (sterile); Puccini ("stupendous"); Einstein ("all brains and no body"); and G. B. Shaw (a 63-year-old virgin). Along the way, there's elaborate sexual slapstick with just the right balance of elegance and bawdiness—but somehow it's never really funny, and the single basic joke is repeated with variations that don't really develop or progress. Mildly entertaining ribaldry, then, dotted with famous men in heat—a classy enough Rabelaisian diversion, but not the grabber of a novel that Dahl's fans might have hoped for.

Pub Date: April 11, 1980

ISBN: 0140055770

Page Count: 212

Publisher: Knopf

Review Posted Online: Oct. 16, 2011

Kirkus Reviews Issue: April 1, 1980

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THE SECRET HISTORY

The Brat Pack meets The Bacchae in this precious, way-too-long, and utterly unsuspenseful town-and-gown murder tale. A bunch of ever-so-mandarin college kids in a small Vermont school are the eager epigones of an aloof classics professor, and in their exclusivity and snobbishness and eagerness to please their teacher, they are moved to try to enact Dionysian frenzies in the woods. During the only one that actually comes off, a local farmer happens upon them—and they kill him. But the death isn't ruled a murder—and might never have been if one of the gang—a cadging sybarite named Bunny Corcoran—hadn't shown signs of cracking under the secret's weight. And so he too is dispatched. The narrator, a blank-slate Californian named Richard Pepen chronicles the coverup. But if you're thinking remorse-drama, conscience masque, or even semi-trashy who'll-break-first? page-turner, forget it: This is a straight gee-whiz, first-to-have-ever-noticed college novel—"Hampden College, as a body, was always strangely prone to hysteria. Whether from isolation, malice, or simple boredom, people there were far more credulous and excitable than educated people are generally thought to be, and this hermetic, overheated atmosphere made it a thriving black petri dish of melodrama and distortion." First-novelist Tartt goes muzzy when she has to describe human confrontations (the murder, or sex, or even the ping-ponging of fear), and is much more comfortable in transcribing aimless dorm-room paranoia or the TV shows that the malefactors anesthetize themselves with as fate ticks down. By telegraphing the murders, Tartt wants us to be continually horrified at these kids—while inviting us to semi-enjoy their manneristic fetishes and refined tastes. This ersatz-Fitzgerald mix of moralizing and mirror-looking (Jay McInerney shook and poured the shaker first) is very 80's—and in Tartt's strenuous version already seems dated, formulaic. Les Nerds du Mal—and about as deep (if not nearly as involving) as a TV movie.

Pub Date: Sept. 16, 1992

ISBN: 1400031702

Page Count: 592

Publisher: Knopf

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 1992

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CIRCE

Miller makes Homer pertinent to women facing 21st-century monsters.

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A retelling of ancient Greek lore gives exhilarating voice to a witch.

“Monsters are a boon for gods. Imagine all the prayers.” So says Circe, a sly, petulant, and finally commanding voice that narrates the entirety of Miller’s dazzling second novel. The writer returns to Homer, the wellspring that led her to an Orange Prize for The Song of Achilles (2012). This time, she dips into The Odyssey for the legend of Circe, a nymph who turns Odysseus’ crew of men into pigs. The novel, with its distinctive feminist tang, starts with the sentence: “When I was born, the name for what I was did not exist.” Readers will relish following the puzzle of this unpromising daughter of the sun god Helios and his wife, Perse, who had negligible use for their child. It takes banishment to the island Aeaea for Circe to sense her calling as a sorceress: “I will not be like a bird bred in a cage, I thought, too dull to fly even when the door stands open. I stepped into those woods and my life began.” This lonely, scorned figure learns herbs and potions, surrounds herself with lions, and, in a heart-stopping chapter, outwits the monster Scylla to propel Daedalus and his boat to safety. She makes lovers of Hermes and then two mortal men. She midwifes the birth of the Minotaur on Crete and performs her own C-section. And as she grows in power, she muses that “not even Odysseus could talk his way past [her] witchcraft. He had talked his way past the witch instead.” Circe’s fascination with mortals becomes the book’s marrow and delivers its thrilling ending. All the while, the supernatural sits intriguingly alongside “the tonic of ordinary things.” A few passages coil toward melodrama, and one inelegant line after a rape seems jarringly modern, but the spell holds fast. Expect Miller’s readership to mushroom like one of Circe’s spells.

Miller makes Homer pertinent to women facing 21st-century monsters.

Pub Date: April 10, 2018

ISBN: 978-0-316-55634-7

Page Count: 400

Publisher: Little, Brown

Review Posted Online: Jan. 22, 2018

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2018

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